Fear

Last week a 13 year old girl died while at camp in California from taking a bite (and spitting it out) of a treat made with peanut butter.  It was a rice krispy treat.  It was dark and rice krispy treats are typically 'safe' treats for nut allergic kids.  This one had peanut butter mixed in.  This from a news article:

After tasting the treat, Natalie realized something wasn’t right and spit it out. Her mother then tasted the treat and determined it contained peanut butter. The girl seemed fine for the first 20 minutes and then began vomiting, had trouble breathing and went into cardiac arrest.

Natalie was rushed to the hospital where she was pronounced dead.

The family reports that Natalie perished despite the administration of three Epipens, a common brand of epinephrine auto-injector. It is not immediately known how soon and by whom the epinephrine was administered after Natalie began displaying symptoms.

Once again, we urge all parents to be vigilant with their children suffering from food allergy, especially teens. Make sure your child never eats an unwrapped food item that hasn’t been cleared by the parent and always make sure to they take two epinephrine auto-injectors along with them each time they leave home. We invite you to print our Take 2 campaign flyers as reminders and display them prominently in your home and child’s school.

Yep, you read that right.  Natalie was give 3 epi pens.  It would later come out that her Father, a doctor, administered the epi pens along with oxygen.  So they did everything right and she still died.

So I just can't come to terms with this.  I'm having terrible anxiety, am getting up throughout the night to check on Isabel and now have at least 3 epi pens with me at all times.  I am freaking out.  For real.  I haven't had anxiety this bad since Isabel was 2 and was closing in on Vivian's age when she died.  It's bad ya'll.

So.  I read on a support group for peanut allergic parents that our kids are ok right now.  Right now they are OK, and this is huge.  Right now we don't have to worry when they are right in front of us eating our 'special' food.  Right now we can make a plane, face our fears and prepare.  We become proactive to the millionth degree.  We speak up.  We use our big voices and we let our needs be known.  We don't feel bad because we're being a pain and requesting special assistance and accomidations.  These are our kids and it is our job to keep them safe.  If I get up and move my shit at the pool because your kids are eating PB and J's and running around all over the place, don't be offended.  Or be offended.  I don't give a flying you-know-what.  When I scream at my peanut allergic 4 year old to 'STAY BACK!  GET AWAY!  I'M MOVING OUR STUFF!'  Don't look at me like a crazy person.  Or do.  Again, I don't care.  Better yet, maybe ask what's wrong and if you can help.  This is serious.  This is my kid.  Imagine if it were your kid.

So in doing more research about food allergy deaths, epinephrine, etc etc I've come to the conclusion that our action plan is wrong.  If there is a suspected or known ingestion of a food allergen (peanuts/tree nuts) we will give an epi pen first, call 911 and ask questions later.  I expect anyone taking care of Isabel to do the same.  If they aren't comfortable with that (I don't expect anyone to not be) they won't watch her.  Simple as that.  Isabel has asthma and that makes the potential for reactions to be much worse.  I will also be testing people who are around Isabel often (grandparents, aunts, uncle, etc) about what if's and making sure they are comfortable administering an epi pen.  What if Natalie's Dad administered epinephrine immediately?  We will never know, but taking out the 'wait and see' approach to anaphylaxis and going to the administer epi/call 911" plan has greatly reduced my anxiety and fear.  Some allergists have been recommending this currently.

When I heard of Natalie's death I was gripped with fear.  Isabel was with Maddie for the afternoon and I was freaked out.  I almost went to pick her up, but remembered that her Mom is probably better equipped to administer an epi pen than I am!  She's had to administer them to herself a few times.  She goes into transient anaphylaxis once every few years.  No known food allergies!  So I calmed down and anxiously waited with Logan by the window for Isabel to come home.

Now for some cute pictures, because this post was too heavy.  Isabel declared our park date while Logan was in therapy 'the best girl time ever!'

Quick update

I had a post written about Logan's appointment with the developmental pediatrician and somehow it didn't get saved.  He's the quick recap.  Basically she haphazardly gave him a PDD-NOS diagnosis on a referral for ABA therapy.  She said he's below the threshold for autism, whatever that means, but that she still wants to track his progress and he may in the future have that diagnosis.  So I looked into ABA therapy and will have a visit to one center near our house.  Both Logan's speech therapist and occupational therapist aren't really on board with ABA.  They both feel it's more training and repetition rather than behavioral intervention therapy.  I'll go and see and hopefully have more clarity on what we're going to do.  We definitely won't start any new therapies before our trip to MT in August.

Interestingly Logan might qualify for the PPCD school (special preschool/preK program offered in the school district).  My neighbor currently teaches there and I went over and talked to her for a long time last week.  She gave me the number to call and who to talk to.  Logan's current preschool teacher will be moving there next year.  Both of these ladies are great and obviously have a special interest in Logan and helping him succeed and get ready for kinder.  The PPCD program is an inclusion program and it a partnership with Isabel and Logan's preschool and the school district.  Isabel would be eligible to attend preK there next year but it is very competitive to get in and is almost $900/month.  So, if Logan could get in it would be fantastic.

My birthday was Tuesday and Brian attempted to make a really nice from scratch cake.  As he was getting the oil down from the cabinet the glass olive oil bottle fell and shattered on the kitchen floor.  He was cleaning that up and the very slippery broken bottle fell from his hand and landed on his foot.  Lots of blood and clean up with that one.  I really thought he needed stitches (and probably should have gotten them), but he had an important meeting the following day and didn't want to bother with urgent care.  So he's been using steri strips and a bandage to keep it closed.

Brian decided to make the cake a couple of nights ago.  It took hours and when it was finally done he tasted it and this is what happened.

Brian: Hmm, I'm not sure why the coffee didn't blend in with the cake. You can really taste it.
Me: Uh, you did brew the coffee first, right? I mean, you didn't put an entire cup of coffee grinds in the cake, right?
Brian: Damnit

It was actually 2 1/2 cups of coffee!!!!

So he made it again today and it turned out great.  Third time was a charm.

On my birthday my friend took the day off of work and we went to the mall!  We looked around a bit and then had a nice lunch.  She came over afterwards and we ordered pizza and hung out after the kids came home from preschool.  So nice and thoughtful, especially since Brian was scheduled to get home late.

Last night we were up late with Isabel.  She was coughing and we were worried.  We kept her on xopenex throughout the night and turned the monitor up to hear her breathing.  She wasn't wheezing, but just continuous coughing.  That was how her 3 day stint in the ICU started, so we were very worried.  She finally stopped coughing around 1am (after we doubled her xopenex as per her action plan) and slept soundly until 5am when she needed more xopenex.  That shit is amazing.  I love it and now use that as my rescue inhaler too instead of albuterol.  She seems pretty good today.  Very minimal coughing, but we kept her inside and had a very low key day.

I am still in my PJ's at 5:55pm.  I cleaned the ENTIRE day.  I just finished about an hour ago.  It feels so so so good to have a completely clean house, even if it did take almost 8 hours.  Brian helped out after he finished the cake and washed what seemed like every dish we own.

Other than that we've been spending a lot of time at the pool.

Slide!

Happy boy!

Taking a break.

New outfit from Grandma.

Brian's Bday, July 4th weekend

I swear I already wrote this post, but I can't find it.  Ah well.  Let's start with Brian's birthday.  It was on a Tuesday.  Fun day of the week, no?  So Isabel and Logan decided that he needed to have a soccer birthday party. So I bought a Wilton soccer cake pan and went to work.  It was by far the easiest Wilton cake ever.  It took about 30 minutes from start to finish.  Black and white icing?  Yes please!  Easy peasy.  I made sea scallops with an avacado/wasabi sauce and roasted asparagus to start.  It was amazing.  SO  good.  Took bad diver scallops are so expensive or I would have bought 10 lbs!  But they are expensive, so we had 4 scallops each.  I also made shrimp/tomato risotto.  It was a new recipe.  Not as great as I've had, but still pretty good.  The recipe didn't call for shallots, only a white onion.  So strange.  Shallots are definitely essential to risotto.

The kids had to add sprinkles.

Happy Birthday Brian!

Wednesday Brian's office closed early, so we headed to Houston around 3pm.  We got to Houston and Tank immediately decided he needed to get sick.  He was peeing out of his butt every 20 minutes pretty much the entire 4 days we were there.  I think everyone really thought we were going to have to say goodbye to Tank (he is very very very old), but I took him to the vet on Monday and she gave us an antibiotic and sent us on our way.  The antibiotic is like a miracle pill.  Tank was better the next day.  I've gotten in the habit of letting him out multiple times an hour and yesterday he refused to go out.  He's like "please don't make me go out in 19394 degree weather AGAIN.  I'm fine people."  Yay!

So Thursday we got up and went to the 4th of July parade.  A ton of people and a surprisingly long parade.  It was about an hour and a half long!  I think we all had fun.  Lots of candy thrown out and fans passed around.  After some swimming Lila and crew and another family friend couple came over for some delicious brisket Grandma cooked and other good food.  Yum!  Lila, Jennifer and Greg went swimming with us.  She's practicing for the ProAm surfing competition.  (Is that real?  It sounds legit, right?)

Making pancakes.

Parade fun.

Lunch al fresco

We stayed up late and saw the top half of fireworks.  Pesky new construction got in the way of the view.  The kids didn't seem to care or notice, so it was all good.

Back rub from Grandpa.

Waiting for fireworks.

Friday my Mom and I went to a few stores.  There is a kid's resale shop right by there house that is amazing.  I love going there and finding bargains.  We have the same store in Austin, but it's about a 30 minute drive for me.  The kids tried on their wedding attire that Grandma made.  SO SO cute!  They are all going to look great!

Fargo had a long weekend.  It's tough being so pretty.

Saturday we went to the Dynamos soccer game.  It was a lot of fun and we got a bonus fireworks display after the game!

Sunday we headed back after a little swimming.  It rained on us a little.  Such a nice downpour.  We don't get many of those in Austin.  We had to stop for Tank, but still managed to make it back in 3 hours.  Not bad!

We had a great weekend!

My princesses!

Keeping Tank busy at the Vet's office.

Big week for the US of A!

I can't believe it's Friday!  Actually, that's a lie.  The week has been looong.  But...but so much has happened!  Between the things going on in the Texas Senate and the DOMA stuff, my head is about to explode!

And then there's Aaron Hernandez.  OMG!

Ok, on to things that actually happened in my home.  Well, not much.  I swear, it must be the heat, but I just can't seem to do anything around the house!  The A/C units are going almost constantly trying to cool the house.  The upstairs unit is especially getting a workout on this 106 degree day.  Yep, we set a record!  It still hasn't been nearly has hot as last summer, so I can't complain too much.  We've been spending most afternoons at the pool.  Not exactly relaxing for me, but the kids really love it.

I know you might have been confused, but this isn't me.  And this isn't our neighborhood pool.

Snack at the pool.

Dancing at the pool.

Logan has another follow up dental appointment.  All went well, but he STILL had some damn plaque buildup.  We're using a rotating brush on his teeth at least 2x's a day and flossing!  I'm like come ON.  What is the deal?!  It's so frustrating.

I also had a quick chat with his speech therapist and she was thinking about reevaluating him soon because he's made such huge strides in the past few months that she thinks he might be 'on target.'  Say whaaa?  That's huge!  I actually hope she doesn't cut us off, because obviously he's made such big improvements with her that I would hate for us to lose this momentum!

Logan also had his preschool conference this week.  I talked a lot about what it would mean if Logan has an ASD diagnosis in a couple of weeks and what our options are.  Logan's teacher taught for 14 years in the PPCS program, specifically with children on the ASD, so she is a huge help.  Our neighbor also happens to teach there too.  Coincidentally I caught her the same day I had Logan's conference and we talked for a long time about services, etc etc.  She is amazing.  She has a special needs child, so she has the unique perspective of being an educator and mom of a special needs child.  While our preschool teacher thinks it would be so great for Logan to be in the program, our neighbor definitely told me to proceed with caution.  It seems like I've been really getting 2 very different opinions from people I talk to this about.  Hopefully when he is done with his evaluation and we go over everything we'll have some more clarity.

Isabel has had a pretty good week.  She is growing up so fast.  Some of the things that come out of her mouth just floor me.  She's definitely not a toddler anymore.  She is very opinionated and competitive, but is so fragile right now.  She gets absolutely crushed when she's disciplined for something unexpected or when she doesn't get the attention she wants.  It's hard to see her feelings hurt.  She's very curious about family and who is in her family and when she gets to see them, etc etc.  We WeChatted with Joanne today and she was thrilled to hear her voice!  She's been watching "Ni Hao Kai Lan" and picking up some Chinese.  It's pretty cute to hear Logan and Izzy repeating words back in Chinese.

A very rare 'safe' ice cream treat for Isabel (and Logan).  She dresses herself.  You try to tell her completely different flower patters/colors don't match.  I dare you.

Pool Time!

We didn't do much this weekend.  We went searching for something Brian needed.  We went to almost every store in the world.  Sunday we woke up and headed North to check out the outlet malls.  On the way there we stopped at Java Cafe.  It's this little breakfast place right by our old law school apartment.  The food is fantastic.  There is almost always a long wait.  We had to wait about 20 minutes, but ordered as soon as we sat down and our food was out in less than 5 minutes.  It did not disappoint.

Out running errands and we see Ms. Pink Sneaker Pony.

Logan admiring his train stamp on the little train at the outlet mall.

Logan was pretty excited to be riding the train.

Her face!

Brian left to go out of town Sunday evening and I put the kids to bed at 7:15pm.  Yep.  Earliest bedtime attempt ever.  By some miracle they both went right to sleep.  I was fully expecting them to be up around 4 or 5 am, but they slept in until 7am!  Logan got up around 5, but went back to sleep.  Who are these kids?!  They must have known I needed some time to recharge Sunday night.  Do you know what I did?  I thought about all I could be doing and then decided to take a 'nap' around 8pm.  I didn't get up until Logan whimpered at 5am.  It was glorious.

Isabel said she wanted to help Brian pack and then rolls in with her suitcase.  :-)

Today I took the kids to they gym and did 2 classes while they played and didn't miss me.  We came home, ate lunch and then packed up and headed to the pool.  For another 3 hour marathon.  We went to the new pool this time and it was really fun.  The last time we went (last year) it was packed, but today it was very quiet.  Isabel's school buddy was there too, so that made it fun.

After the pool I had to go to the store.  If they didn't have preschool tomorrow I would have put it off, but I knew that sending them to school with oyster crackers, cheese and carrots probably wouldn't go over too well.

Isabel asked for brownies.  I don't usual make baked goods, mainly because I just eat them all in a day, but I decided to make them for her.  She wanted to put jello and jelly on top of her brownie.  Ok.  Logan, being the awesome little brother that he is, just went along with it like it was a totally normal thing to do.  I asked him if he was sure he wanted jelly on top of the jello and brownie and he said 'yes' in that super cute enunciate every.single.letter way that he does.

They watched a little "Dumbo" *ps isn't that show super creepy?  What is with the Elephants Marching song?!  Can you say D.R.U.G.S?  Wow.

I put the kids to bed right at 8pm and they were DONE.  Ready to go to bed.  Yesss!

Snow White.

Brownie-blue jello-jelly

Motivation to do nothing

I'm not sure where my motivation to clean the house has gone. It's nowhere to be found. After the usual Friday morning stuff we found ourselves at home by 11:30am with no plans for the rest of the day. I planned to get some cleaning done. I set up the kiddie pool and sat down to watch them play in 98 degree nasty weather. Logan lasted about 10 minutes and then wanted to go inside.

I was feeling bad about having to tell Isabel she needed to come in because she (obviously) can't play in the pool by herself, when she decided to squirt Logan in the back with water after I told her not to and after he was back in regular clothes. It made that decision much easier.

Everyone inside. So now it's about 11:40am. So much time to fill. We had the kids' absolute favorite lunch of tomato soup and grilled cheese. Then I wanted to clean, but ended up piddling around doing a lot of nothing. Anyway, it was a long afternoon.

Three hours of swimming

Yesterday after our usual Wednesday stuff we ate lunch and headed off to the pool. We got there at 1pm an left a little after 4pm! Three hours of Isabel practicing her swimming. She was a little fish! Logan wasn't very thrilled about practicing his swimming. He did it a couple of times, but mostly just wanted me to hold him. He didn't really want to go down he slide either. Finally towards the end of our time he started going down the slide a couple of times.

After the pool Isabel wanted to swim in the baby pool. I sweet talked her out of that. Where does she get her energy?!

I didn't get any pictures of the day but did take one of this. The spare set of car keys!!!! They've been lost for about a yer. Found them hiding out next to the foot peg under the dryer. We checked there, but must have missed them because they blended in to the peg. Anyway, yay!!!!!